(no subject)

[charlottezweb]

I have come to the realization that I am overly sentimental about stuff. And I mean stuff in the concrete sense of physical things. I'm never going to be someone who tosses birthday and Xmas cards from loved ones after reading them like some people I know (a-hem), but I would like to be able to get rid of things and have an uncluttered zen like place to live. But isn't our connection to the past and other people through stuff? Argh. I struggle. I pick up the La Nuoba souvenir cup and put it back down. I look through the bin of hair ribbons I've had since 2nd grade, touch two of my mom's silk scarves from the 50s, and put it back on the shelf. How do I decide what to get rid of and what to keep? It's not like clothes--I know the rules about when I used it last and whether it looks good and all that, those rules aren't helping here. I know I should get rid of most of my giant bin of purses and my makeup collection I never use anymore--but each one has a story and I have trouble getting past the story to the trash can.

I guess I just need to be brutal, pick and room and just start. Bleah.

Comments

[lorres.livejournal.com]

Try it in really short bursts. I find that I can start a drawer, but the more things I look at the more I start wanting to keep - or making excuses to keep.

[snippy]

I have a ThermoNuclearWar rule for stuff:

Pretend you've just had a house fire. But everyone you love is safe! That stuff doesn't matter compared to people. And you have the memories in your head. So get rid of the stuff! If you want, write about it, or take a picture of it, and keep those. But remember, the memories and the people are what is important; stuff just reminds us of them.

[charlottezweb.livejournal.com]

Wow, that's not a bad idea. What would I be upset about losing in a house fire. (Family aside, of course) Some of this stuff I'd be a bit relieved, I think, just to get the load off. I'm going to try looking at each piece like that--how would I feel if it were destroyed.

stuff

[betonica.livejournal.com]

I'm not one to talk, because I keep *everything* (nearly). But I did manage to get rid of a large box of books, recently.

Another trick (in addition to the writing about / photographing) is to look at things with the idea that someone else might really be able to make better use of it / like it more / need it more. The idea that I'm being generous or helpful to someone else really makes it much easier to not "need" to keep it. (I keep things partly because the puritanical ancestors in my brain don't want me to waste something that might someday be useful. If someone else is using it, that helps a lot.)

But yes, the memory thing is really important, too.

And then there's my sense of history. History is so much more than what political power grabbed what land on what date. It's also little things, like some woman's record of the eggs she collected and how much money she got for them. I have a terrible time throwing that stuff away.

Anyone want a canceled check from April 1st, 1901, Merchants National Bank, made out to Mary E Morse for $61.25 - dividend from Old Colony Railroad somethingorother? (I got it in a lot including something else I wanted.... Surely I shouldn't just throw it away?)

Ok. So I'm not one to ask about getting rid of stuff.

Re: stuff

[charlottezweb.livejournal.com]

Yes!!!! That's exactly it! That's how I am about stuff. I'm great with getting rid of clothes but when it comes to the little stuff, I'm terrible. Tangible pieces of people's lives...it's like the scrapbooks my grandmother kept--I loved looking through those--I love finding theater tickets and notes and receipts in old books...my mom found the receipt for her wedding veil in a box the other day...I think it was $5 and gorgeous. Those are the things I have trouble with.

Hmm. Maybe I need to separate things into piles. Maybe I need to worry less about turning into my mother. (Because my level of stuff keeping is not like hers--she has piles of junk mail, etc.)

Re: stuff

[betonica.livejournal.com]

Good heavens - the scrapbooks your grandmother kept are *infinitely valuable* and should be kept for at least a few thousand years, I think. (Ahem.) I've told my mother that I want all the little eensy weensy books that my grandmother recorded every single item she paid cash for in - even down to a two cent stamp.

But at least those sorts of things are usually smallish and/or flat. I've got a basement full of larger stuff that might be useful, or just needs mending, or might have useful parts (or is just in the heap too, but needs to be tossed). Someday I'll get down there to deal with it.

[dr-brat.livejournal.com]

I think that stuff triggers our connections to people and places and memories, but the stuff itself isn't those people, places, or memories. I like the ThermoNuclearWar rule. I also like the admonition to "keep nothing that you do not know to be beautiful or useful."